Part One
When the students have finished Part One, gather as a class or in small groups, and encourage discussion. Ask students to think about these questions:
- Did you find any surprises in your answers?
- Did the students in your group answer any of the questions the same way?
- Which issues did you find most important?
See if patterns emerge that indicate students’ sensitivity to peer pressure and peer influence. In particular, do the students see a strong tendency to want to be with other students who hold similar interests, values, etc., as themselves? Open the discussion and ask each group to report on some of the things they learned. In a wrap-up of Part One, acknowledge that the desire to be with those who are most like us is quite common. But also mention that there will always be some ideas and behaviors that students don’t hold in common, even with their best friends, and that this is what makes us individuals. Before students move on to Part Two, explain to them that our friends play certain roles in our lives. They can be people we do things with, people we enjoy talking to, people we confide secrets in, people we like to joke with, etc. Explain to the students that this part of the exercise will help them examine the role friends play in their lives.
Part Two
Ask students to complete Part Two. When they have finished, ask them to talk generally about how important friends are to them. Ask your students:
- Are there times when you prefer to spend your free time by yourself, or with family members, rather than with friends? Why or why not?
- Do you have certain friends with whom you are close enough to keep secrets? (For those who answer “yes,” ask them to speak more generally about the role those friends play in their lives.)
- One of the questions asked if you would lie to protect a friend. Can you offer a possible example in which you would lie to protect a friend? (For example: “My friend slept over at my house the other night. She took one of my sister’s CDs and told me not to tell. When my sister asked me about it, I said…”)
- Can you think of a scenario in which you might consider breaking a promise to a friend? (For example: “I told my friend I would come over on Saturday to help him study for the history exam, but then my dad came home with tickets to the ball game. So I decided…”)
- Think about this situation: There’s a really cool group of students at school. You and your best friends have always wanted to hang out with them. Some of the cool people ask you if you want to go to the mall with them, but they don’t invite your friend. How do you handle this?
- Would you compromise your values and choice to be tobacco free if a friend asked you to use a tobacco product?
To finish this section, acknowledge how important our friends can be to us, and how difficult it can be when we feel that we have to choose between doing something we don’t necessarily want to do in order to solidify a friendship, and not doing it. Talk about how truly strong friendships can handle differences of interests, values, etc.
Part Three
Explain to students that while our interests and behaviors influence us in our choice of friends, sometimes our friends influence us in our choice of behavior. Ask students to complete Part Three. Then, assemble them in small groups and ask them to discuss their answers and address these questions:
- Why would someone go to a movie she did not want to see?
- Why would someone try a cigarette if he or she didn’t want to?
- If you answered “no” to a particular question, why do you think someone might say “yes” to the same question? What might cause someone to say “yes”?
